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Read
the Book
The Farmer
My client, Dr. Farmer, wants to try everything under the sun
and winds up with a “bottle farm”—one of
each type of wine, one from each
producer. He has almost exactly
one thousand bottles in his collection on seven hundred and
fifty line-listings, an average
of about one point three bottles
per title. He buys mixed cases.
Not mixed cases like six plus
six or four and four and four.
No. He buys twelve unique bottles
in each case. So I asked him, “What’s up, doc?” (I
waited almost my whole life to
say that.)
He said that he gets
bored.
Bored! I could kill this
guy with my bare hands. Whatever
happened to the idea that you
try one bottle from a case when
it’s young and coltish,
get a sense of it, make a note
in your journal, lock it away
in your memory. Open another bottle when you suspect, or when
Mr. Parker suggests, that it
will be ready to drink, yet is
still vivacious, jejune. It’s
a completely different experience.
Drink the others in their prime and save a couple
to enjoy in their (and maybe
your) declining years.
There
was a wonderful jazz disc jockey
in LA named Chuck Niles. He’d been around since
the dawn of recorded sound, with
a great basso vibrato voice.
He once said that he didn’t
dig Billie Holiday’s
later recordings until he, himself,
was older. My point is that
you’re going to want to see
these wines through their lives.
A case of wine is not a chicken
dinner. It’s
a twelve-course feast in a box.
You can’t, or most likely
won’t, drink them all in one sitting, or one month, or
one year, so how, exactly, do
you get bored of a great wine?
Even a pretty good wine? Heaven
forbid he should actually like something and want to try it
again. Heaven forbid he should
have a party for more than two
people. What then? Every time
he goes out, it’s a crapshoot. He can never say, “I
had this wine recently and it
was terrific.” No, this
guy can say something to the
point of: “This is the first
and last time I’m ever going to try this, so savor the
moment, honey.”
I hate to admit it, but I’m something
of a Farmer, myself. I don’t
have enough money to buy everything in case lots, or in quantities of
fours or sixes, and I see so
many appetizing choices at the
store that I can’t
say no to. So many Rhones with scores in the low nineties that you can’t
choose just one. So many odd-sounding Australian wines at prices that
practically scream out, “Try me!”
And there’s nothing wrong
with doing just that.
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