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Read
the Book
The Fetishist
There’s a store in LA called The Pleasure Chest that
sells all kinds of vibrators
and sex toys. I was there one night and saw something that
looked like counterweights in
a glass display case. Being a
curious sort, I asked what they were used for. When the salesman
explained their purpose, I
said it sounded like that activity
would be rather painful. He relocked the case and said: “Preference.”
The
Fetishist is the guy who, through
a distinct palate or distinct
financial conditions (either way), has established
a preference for one or two things,
to the exclusion of everything
else. The rich Fetishist can afford to stay exclusively in
older first growth Bordeaux and
top white Burgundy wines. I
have one client who has done
exactly that, and not a single
drop of wine from Italy, California or
Australia sullies his racks.
He just doesn’t like
any of it, because he feels it
lacks history. While I was in
his cellar I noticed one sad little bottle of red Burgundy
sitting in a bin all by itself.
When I pointed it out, he gave
it to me with a “get-it-out-of-here,
kid” disdain—a
1989 Leroy Latricieres Chambertin
with a price tag of around seven
hundred dollars. Preference.
We have another friend
who only drinks Burgundy,
and even his fellow Burgundy-lovers
question his single-minded devotion to
the grape, asking, “Don’t
you get tired of it?” Honestly, it seems like if you
ate lobster every night, you’d be begging for a hamburger.
And so it goes.
The poor Fetishist
is the one who can’t afford to move up in class. He has
an admirable collection of Zins and Syrahs, where the best
values are to
be had. The problem with the
Poor Fetishist (again, the Rich one is better by far) is that
he’ll trot his fetish out
wherever he goes. He brings a
bottle of his best stuff to dinner,
and it can be a bit embarrassing when the wine steward unscrews
the cap. Do your own thing, man,
let your freak flag fly, but
do it behind closed doors. Get
a room.
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